Creating Purpose, Day by Day

Sleep. Work. Eat. Tv. Sleep. Work. Eat. Tv. Sleep.

(Or whatever routine is you)

Whether your days are a mad bustle or a slow, unwinding series, sometimes you may just feel like you're in an aimless rut.

I know I certainly struggle with that. Regardless of how outwardly busy I may be, sometimes my days just start to lack meaning and I fail to get excited about life as it happens. And I'm sure lots of people feel this way so here's how I manage to create a purpose for each and every day, making getting out of bed in the morning a whole lot more exciting.

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1. 30 Challenges for 30 Days

Inspired by High Existence and Though Brick's challenges, I did something a bit weird on January 1st. I sat down for a few hours, cut up 150 slips of paper and wrote something (a dare, a compliment, an idea) on each. Then I stuck these all in a jar with the resolution to pick one out each and every morning, having to complete/keep in mind what each slip dictated, before the day's end.

The few people I shared this with thought I was a little zany but guess what. It totally works. I woke up every morning excited and nervous (in a good way) to pick out a slip. Finally I had something to look forward to, something to accomplish for myself, just for myself, each and every day. It was also super interesting to figure out a way to accomplish some of these tasks, especially the dares!

It's a fairly simple technique—this jar—but it's really so effective that it's now my go-to thing to keep the blues away. Definitely try it out to add a certain charge to your life :)

Source: Matt Pasant

2. Find something you want to do. And do it just for yourself.

So, over the winter, I kind of got hooked on learning languages. I've always been interested in exploring the cultures, lifestyles, mindsets, histories, etc. of people from around the world, so this isn't much of a jump. But it is quite different from my day job as an interior design student. I've decided to learn Korean and have dedicated hundreds of hours this past semester to learning the language, alongside other aspects of the culture. I've also been improving the other languages I know (Punjabi and Hindi) by writing my notes in those languages, listing to diverse music and so on.

The idea is to find something that is separate from your more "obligated" day job, even if it is a job you love. For example, an accountant may take up cooking or photography classes, or a graphic designer may take up dance or astronomy classes. Whatever piques your interest, develop it. Indulge it and enjoy doing something without any external pressure to succeed.

This is indulgence at it's best.

Peace and Stuff,

Sabbie

Beating the Heat: Dreaming of Cooler Times and Cooler Places

It's been such a hard winter to endure this year…so why am I so apprehensive about a heated summer?

Left, middle, right

I guess I just can't stand the idea of not being able to add layers and keep out fluffy duvets and throws.

Also, my reasoning for hating on summer: in winter you can at least jump around, put on more layers, and light a simple fire to get warmer. Summer leaves me wanting to peel my own skin off—it's inescapable (sorry AC, you're just not good enough).

Since the heat affects me so, I know popular places like Florida and California will never be my home. I need my four seasons, I can live with six months of parkas but I can't live with anything over 30ºC for very long. Canada is good to me for all that.

I'd move to wild and beautiful B.C., by the ocean, lakes and mountains in a heartbeat if it weren't for the natural disaster aspect… *sigh*

(Aw, look, these asterisks look just like little snow flakes ****)

Where's a girl to go?

Fleeting Hopes and Dreams

This year, I guess (no, I know) I've spent a lot of time just ruminating on how I've seemed to reach That Age. The age that I thought I would have it all together. The age where my wildest dreams would be within my grasp and maybe, just maybe, I'd be ruling my own little corner of the world? Well, that clearly never happened and each and every day, it all seems to become more and more unlikely.

See, I've spent a good amount of my life trying to convince others that ageing and being "old" is the best. That we can become the wisest, most graceful, most self-actualized people on the planet as we age. I wholeheartedly believed that getting older was the best part of living out our lives. But now I think I'm beginning to see what others have probably been seeing for years.

This is the last page of my favourite comic series ever. I followed the family in For Better or for Worse since I was a child, only to read the last comic today and find out how the Pattersons all ended up living out perfectly ordinary, unsurprising (overall!) lives. Which is great in a way, but sort of…anti-climatic? (image)

I've always been a dreamer. I used to think everyone was exactly like that—wide eyed in a world of limitless possibilities— but eventually I came to realize that some children had already given up on their hopes before they started. I've talked to middle-schoolers who have lower expectations from life than I do. Twelve year olds have resigned themselves to following more sensible professions, promising themselves security and respect, rather than allowing their minds to wander and draw up beautiful, beautiful alternatives.

I could never do that.

But all of a sudden, it seems like the world and it's limits are closing in. I can't do many of the things I once thought were mine to pursue to my heart's desire. I know now that I won't become an Olympic figure skater, an astronaut in space, a quirky mad scientist, an adventurous storm chaser or a world renowned teenaged fashion designer (Kira Plastinina haunted me throughout my middle school years). I know most, if not all, of my old dreams seem far-fetched to most people but to me they were just about everything. Because hope and possibility were the joys of my life.

Today, I am finally faced with the reality of finding a career that does pay bills, realizing that some things really just can't happen after all. And those are some really tough truths to swallow for me. And it makes me wonder…

Does ageing mean an ever-shortening list of hopes and dreams and possibilities?

—Sabbie

P.s. Does this count as an existentialist drama? Ugh. Sorry.

Tech-less Crafting Weekend :)

A few weeks ago, I embarked on a brave new journey. I decided to stay at home and—wait for it—not use my phone or my laptop or even the tv. *gasp* All year, I've been connected more than ever, with emails and alerts from my school or professor stressing me out, group projects to be coordinated, and  all my best friends to be kept in touch with.

Suddenly, it really started to feel like too much after all. So, I cleared my schedule, stashed my tech in an obscure cabinet and settled down with some Vivaldi, Austen and a list of crafts to be completed. Bliss.

Here's what I created during my tech-less weekend…

A pretty quick and easy update of a run-of-the-mill clutch. Pretty much just removed that boring old button and superglued some robin's egg blue (broken) earrings in its stead.

I usually hate nail art but, this once, I gave it another shot and voilà! I fell in love with with style I found on beloved Pinterest. 

And that's a quick (not really) garland I made from dusty old flowers someone brought to the hospital when my brother was born, an age and a half ago!

Also, I had a darling friend over for tea. That's right, a good old fashioned tea! We made some surprisingly good mug cakes—desserts I am determined to perfect and master.

So, in conclusion, I'd say I'm hardly a technophobe (I am a millennial, aren't I?) but I must admit, there were more than a few moments where I wanted to snap up my phone or to log onto Pinterest or even just catch up with the news. But, I resisted and oh, it was so worth it!

Will I be trying this again? Heck yeah!

The Spring Thaw

No one has ever painted a more beautiful spring for me than the beloved Anne Shirley

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"Spring had come once more to Green Gables—the beautiful, capricious, reluctant Canadian spring, lingering along through April and May in a succession of sweet, fresh, chilly days, with pink sunsets and miracles of resurrection and growth"

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"Almost before Anne realized it, spring had come again to Green Gables and all the world was abloom once more…winter was over and gone with the thrill of delight that spring never fails to bring to the oldest and saddest as well as to the youngest and merriest…"

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"Everything is new in the spring…Springs themselves are always so new, too. No spring is ever just like any other spring. It always has something of its own to be its own peculiar sweetness."

All these lovely quotes are from L.M. Montgomery's beautiful series, Anne of Green Gables. A series I read each spring and summer, without fail.

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Loads of love,

Sabbie

A Dose of Perspective with a Dash of Eccentricity

Perspective is everything. At least that's how I feel.

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So much so, that I've spent my life eagerly exploring different perspectives, changing things (even little things) just to get a new look at life.

For as long as I can remember, I've tried to create and understand opinions or ideas someone else may have of something that I experienced or thought about. It has been a way for me to satiate my inquisitive soul but to also soothe my fretting mind. If I ever felt bad about my own life, I would imagine how happy and perfect it may look to someone on the outside and that would help me emanate the positivity of that idea until it felt more tangible in my real life, or I would just realize how inconsequential and incorrect façades can be. Instant comfort.

Thus, perspective became something I crave. A therapeutic exercise. But it isn't always just about keeping it all in the mind, either. Another crazy important thing to be is weird. 

Try doing something the weird way, not the normal way.

I definitely seem a little kooky to my family, but even they have come to (more or less) accept that it is perfectly normal and to be expected that I may be found lying face down in the snow in the middle of the backyard one afternoon or drinking tea from atop a bookcase, the next. Really.

I always think "Alice in Wonderland" whenever
I think of  perspective! Source

Every night, I like to sleep in a different corner of my bed. Sometimes against the wall, sometimes balancing right on the far edge. Sometimes the headboard becomes the footboard or the width becomes the length (good luck trying to find my head in the mornings). I like to keep things changing because, well, first of all, why not?

Second, it just keeps this sort of creative energy weaving in and out of my life, keeping my eyes fresh and me from ruminating on the dull, unchangeable facets of life.

So, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to go brush my teeth in my closet. What can I say? I like keeping myself on my toes…

—Sabbie

P.S. I totally dare you to try it! When you pick up a book tonight or a cup of tea (or a plate of cookies!), take it to a new corner in your home. Maybe you can nestle into a kitchen nook on the counter or just sit on top of the table, whatever it is, just try it! And take a good look around.

For a Lack of a Better Option

All in the name of authenticity, here's what I'm really thinking.

College sucks. Big time.

I mean, I don't think I'm in the wrong program. Is there another program I would rather be in? No, I know that much. Do I think I can complete this program? Yes, I'm not totally incapable or dispassionate and every sign does say I can.

Is college right for me? No, you know what, I don't think it is after all! Do I have a better idea? No, that's why I am here.

This is simply where I figured I needed to be. I still figure a degree is my best shot...besides myself. You know, my self--the innate skills and interests and quirks and ideas that make up me. The self that I will ulitmately need. That I know, now. No college could give me that.

But, I guess I'm sticking around until the end. Am I convinced that this is what I should do? No, but it's what I tell myself daily because without that...well, what would I do? At all?

Is that the general situation then? Concerning college? That besides it, what would I do? Interesting that it's come to that. Really, though, there's currently not even another idea, let alone a plan for me to turn to. So that's why I'm staying in college, eh?

For a lack of a better option.

Good to finally know, I guess.

P.S. Who knows, maybe I'll come to like it (college) after all? Then again, no shame in dropping out. Not that I'm gonna do that. Am I...no...I guess not.

Lost At Sea

Hi there,

So, the blog world seems really nice and kind and supportive and I'd love to share something that really feels like its eating away at my soul in every waking moment.

*melodrama*

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You see, I am so (sooooo) torn over my life: between work and well, everything else. I get that I am young and in college and this is my chance and so on and so on. But… it just doesn't feel right! I mean, my program is great but the work load is…conflicting!

I suppose school is meant to be tough (ugh) but does the rest of my life have to be too?

You see, I can't seem to get away from people just endorsing hard work and success, no matter the cost for your health or spirit. Everyone from my favourite authors to YouTubers to relatives to professors are forgoing sleep, exercise and all the lovely little nothings that make my life good, so that they can be successful.

Ok, even for the lucky ones (myself included, I guess), the ones who are pursuing the "great love of their life"—be it acting or painting or business or science—we are encouraged to completely dedicate ourselves to our chosen professions. Like, it's not enough for me to be a good interior designer or even just a totally average interior designer. Nope. I have to be the next Brian Gluckstein or something.

It's reached the point where I don't even know if want

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to be successful. Certainly not if it means late night after late night. Or not working out for a week. Or having to take lighting fast showers everyday. Or sacrificing my lazy weekend mornings. Or having to live in the freaking city. Yikes.

I don't mean to be difficult. Really. But I'm just petrified that my life will stay like this. Interior design, just like many other professions, can be really demanding. It's stressful with all those ruthless deadlines, nerve-wrecking legal considerations and a whole tsunami of other responsibilities.  Also, I suppose I have been impacted by a recent family loss, as I was so busy working to let myself be with my family when they needed it…that's a whole other book of regrets! Point is, all these fears make me feel like I'm a slacker.

A stubborn slacker for not wanting to work.

I'm torn. For me, work is work. No matter how much fun it can be sometimes, it's never going to be the greatest priority in my life. I'm not looking for greatness, after all. I dreamt of wealth, fame and all that when I was younger but now…I don't know. 

I mean, it would be nice to have funds for all my dreams and adventures but…

Well, I can't find a solution!!

But the internet did offer me some wisdom…if only I could make something of it.

Create a life that feels good on the inside. Not one that just looks good on the outside.

Simplicity. Less stuff, less work, less expense. It means more money, more time, more joy. Less equals more.

Travel as much as you can. As far as you can. As long as you can. Life's not meant to be lived in one place.

People wait all week for Friday. All year for summer. All life for happiness. Stop waiting.

So, anyone out there reading, have you ever felt this way? And did you ever find an answer?

—Sabbie

P.S. I'm trying to go tech-free this weekend! I'm loving away my phone and my laptop :) No social media, no texting, no Pinterest (!) and not even blogging! Just me, Vivaldi and Jane Austen. So, I guess I'll see the world again on Monday! xx

Backstories

Why be mean when you can be kind??

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I'm sure that at one point or another, we have all gotten mad at a complete stranger. Like, really, really mad.

Mad enough to forget our manners and "treating people the way we wish to be treated". I see this so, so often... and once upon a time, it was easy for me to slip into a temper too, as soon as a stranger gave me any reason to direct some anger at them.

But over the years, as I have learned to cultivate not only compassion but also my imagination, I've made kindness towards everyone not only a personal moral but also the compass of my actions and ultimately, my life. In fact, I consider compassion and creativity two elements that are, perhaps, the most important in creating a kind and considerate person.

Compassion is integral to kindness, for obvious reasons. I mean, compassion is a sort of sympathy and sympathy allows us to connect with others emotions. So it makes sense that compassion is a root of kindness.

However, imagination, or insight or perspective, is important as well. Not many people seem to associate creativity with kindness but I certainly do. To me, the first step to kindness isn't even compassion. It's being able to imagine the lives you interact with everyday. Being able to see people (or animals!) as beings, not objects or just another face in the crowd of your life. This ability to see further into people, even strangers, is the foundation of compassion because it leads you to really consider the impact your actions may have on the person (or animal!) in front of you.

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One part of my life that really teaches me to be considerate is driving. On the road, as a new driver, I am now seeing a whole new side of people. Somehow, being behind the wheel transforms a lot of humans into rash, obnoxious and just plain mean people. It's like the people driving the machines become extensions of the cold, unfeeling machines that they are driving. Ugh.

So, one day when I was driving home after a long day in the studio, I encountered a woman that definitely tried my commitment to kindness. I wasted about three seconds of her time by making a left turn too late and she spent the next ten minutes driving around me trying to convey her anger at me. So, there she is making vulgar gestures and screaming things which were likely quite obscene (I didn't bother to pull down my own window). This presented a chance for me to decide on my treatment of this stranger.

I could have done what a lot of other people (including my younger self) may have done, and reciprocated her behaviour. Maybe even have tried to outdo her less than spectacular behaviour. But then I decided, no. It wasn't even about not sinking to her level but it became about separating myself from my shoes to imagine hers. Perhaps she had a really, really bad day. Or year. Or life. Maybe her job was all wrong. Maybe she was overworked and was heading home to more chores. Maybe she had recently lost a loved one. Maybe she suffered from a mental illness. Maybe she was always like that. Maybe. But I couldn't know for sure what her life was like, what was really going on in her mind and whether she deserved it or not. I made it my prerogative to not be one to contribute to her negative sense of the world. Or of other people.

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So when she gave me the finger, I blew her a kiss and gave her a smile.

My own prize here? I got to go home with a lighter heart. I had been having a pretty long, annoying day. I was heading home fairly grumpy. But this woman presented me with an opportunity to feel good about myself. It gave me a chance to love and respect not only the world but also myself. And that was much, much, much better than heading home with lingering rage and a hate filled story.

My challenge to anyone who made it this far into this post? Ask yourself, really ask yourself:

"Why be mean when you can be kind?"

Because, really, being mean to anyone (even a stranger) destroys ourselves.

Next time you feel hate, jealously, bitterness or any other negative feeling, whether in general or at a person, just take a few moments and try to imagine what this person's life may be like.

Because what you choose to do next, can change even a fleeting stranger's life. Really.

My superpower is kindness. What's yours?

Love and hugs,
Sabbie

P.S. And always hold the door open for the person behind you! So simple but it always makes my day when someone does that, even if it isn't for me!

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