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Friday, 28 February 2014

For a Lack of a Better Option

All in the name of authenticity, here's what I'm really thinking.
College sucks. Big time.
I mean, I don't think I'm in the wrong program. Is there another program I would rather be in? No, I know that much. Do I think I can complete this program? Yes, I'm not totally incapable or dispassionate and every sign does say I can.
Is college right for me? No, you know what, I don't think it is after all! Do I have a better idea? No, that's why I am here.
This is simply where I figured I needed to be. I still figure a degree is my best shot...besides myself. You know, my self--the innate skills and interests and quirks and ideas that make up me. The self that I will ulitmately need. That I know, now. No college could give me that.
But, I guess I'm sticking around until the end. Am I convinced that this is what I should do? No, but it's what I tell myself daily because without that...well, what would I do? At all?
Is that the general situation then? Concerning college? That besides it, what would I do? Interesting that it's come to that. Really, though, there's currently not even another idea, let alone a plan for me to turn to. So that's why I'm staying in college, eh?
For a lack of a better option.
Good to finally know, I guess.
P.S. Who knows, maybe I'll come to like it (college) after all? Then again, no shame in dropping out. Not that I'm gonna do that. Am I...no...I guess not.

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